Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Surgery Prevents Sex Abuse of Infants

City Medical Center announced today that it has perfected a surgery that has a 100% success rate in preventing the sexual abuse of babies by their mothers at the time of birth. For millennia, mothers have routinely had sexual intercourse with infants during the primitive and animalistic process of "vaginal childbirth", a euphemism for having the baby's entire body pass through the mother's vagina. Most mothers downplay the sexuality of this act by pretending that "it hurts like hell". But as any birth photographer can tell you, it's an orgasmic experience. As such, it should be outlawed, especially now that we have a safe* readily available alternative -- surgery. From now on, no new baby should ever have to suffer the disgrace and humiliation of being born into the world like an animal.

Martha, a mother of three and resident of Metropolis, says this about the surgery.
"I had my first two babies vaginally, and I can't tell you how sorry I am. I mean, the births went well, and I was up and walking around right afterward, but clearly it was sexual abuse. I mean, I totally fell madly passionately in love with my babies, and everyone knows that's just not normal. My last was breech, and hospital policy forced me to have a cesarean. My baby had some breathing problems after the birth and he had to stay in the newborn intensive care. I wasn't allowed to hold him or nurse him until he was several days old. I know now that it's just not normal to be passionately in love with a baby."

* The surgery, which is completely safe, has only these small minor risks:
Cesarean birth is major surgery. The estimated risk of a woman dying after a cesarean birth is less than one in 2,500 (the risk of death after a vaginal birth is less than one in 10,000). So, you're only 4 times more likely to die with c-sections than with "vaginal childbirth". That's a small price to pay to avoid humiliating your baby, don't you think?

Some other insignificant and totally worth it risks for the mother include infection of the uterus, bladder or kidneys, massive blood lossbreahting problems, longer hospital stay and recovery time, reactions to anesthesia, and the need for additional surgeries such as hysterectomy, bladder repair, etc.
The baby has some risks, as well. Those risks include premature birth (often the due date was not accurately calculated, and the baby is delivered too early), breathing problems, fetal injury (Surgeons sometimes cut the baby while making the uterine incision).

Monday, December 11, 2006

Please don't hate me because I am a woman.

Imagine Rosa Parks, after being arrested for sitting in the front of the bus, saying “Oh, please don’t be revolted by my skin color. It’s a good skin color. It’s healthy and natural. I try to keep as much of it covered as I can.”

"Insanity!” you say? I agree.

Now, imagine a human mother, feeding her baby in the normal way that human babies have been fed for thousands of years -- with mother's milk, from the tap. Imagine someone else, starting at her chest, waiting for the baby to pull away for a moment, so that he can get a glimpse of her breast, to prove that she's being rude, nasty, immodest, indecent, perverse, disgusting, repulsive and gross. Imagine that same mother imploring people to accept "breastfeeding in public", because "It's natural." (like urinating) and "It's healthy." (like sex) and "It's the best thing you can do for your baby." (like changing his diaper when he poops).

Breastfeeding in public is EATING in public. I promise not to stare at your mouth and contemplate you swallowing and digesting your food. Please extend the same courtesy to my baby.

Breastfeeding isn't just “natural” -- it is the normal way for a human baby to eat. IF you have a problem with it, put a blanket over your own head.

Sunday, December 10, 2006


There's been a lot of hoopla, lately, about a mother being expelled from a flight for refusing the flight attendant's demand to cover her baby's head with an airline blanket while she nursed her baby. There's been a lot of talk about breastfeeding in public. Most agree that "It's fine, as long as the mother is discreet."

1. judicious in one's conduct or speech, esp. with regard to respecting privacy or maintaining silence about something of a delicate nature; prudent; circumspect.

A mother, in the far back of the airplane, between her husband and the window, is quietly feeding her baby. A flight attendant angrily insists she cover the baby's head with a blanket. Who was indiscreet? By this part of the definition, it was the flight attendant who was indiscreet.

2. showing prudence and circumspection; decorous: a discreet silence.
Prudence means wisdom. Given that human milk substitutes contribute to a plethora of health problems for mother and baby, the wise choice is to breastfeed. Decorous means characterized by dignified propriety in conduct, manners, appearance, character, etc, The mother who calmly and politely refused to cover her child's head with a blanket acted in a dignified manner. The flight attendant, who abused her authority by using it to expel the family from the airplane because she was personally repulsed by the idea of a baby sucking on a breast, was indiscreet.

I believe what people are actually trying to say it that breastfeeding in public is fine as long as the mother is "decent." So, let's explore that, shall we?

1. conforming to the recognized standard of propriety, good taste, modesty, etc., as in behavior or speech.
The recognized standard is to feed a hungry baby. Breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby.

2. respectable; worthy: a decent family.
That is such a matter of opinion from one person to another. Therefore, it’s unfair to ask any given individual to conform to the standards of each and every other individual in a public place.

3. adequate; fair; passable: a decent wage.
Fair? Women who feed their baby an inferior human-milk substitute can do so without reproach. A mother who feeds her baby the normal human way is harassed. The flight attendant was indecent, not the mother.

4. kind; obliging; generous: It was very decent of him to lend me his watch.
Again, the flight attendant failed to be decent in that she was neither kind, nor obliging, nor generous.

5. suitable; appropriate: She did not have a decent coat for the cold winter.
Breasts are made for breastfeeding babies. Breastfeeding a hungry baby? Always appropriate.

6. of fairly attractive appearance: a decent face.
If the flight attendant didn’t find the nursing couple to be visually pleasing, she should have used her neck, not her mouth, and turned her head!

7. Informal usage: wearing enough clothing to appear in public.
Well, this is were we get down to it, don’t we? Next time we have a nurse-in and the news crew wants to zoom in on our breasts to show how much breast is visible, we ought to insist that they promise in writing to also do close-ups of several other women walking around the airport, and then show them on the screen side-by-side. I guarantee there’s more breast showing on the average non-nursing mom.

8. Slang: great, wonderful.
Refusing to increase your child’s risk for diabetes, cancer, ear infection, diarrhea, death, by giving him artificial human-milk substitutes in a plastic bottle with a fake nipple just because some bigot might be repulsed by the normal way human babies eat? Pretty decent, if you ask me.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Minding My Own Business

There are many things I find revolting, repulsive, objectionable.

Let me give you a few examples. Yesterday at the shopping mall I noticed a shopping bag from Abercrombi and Fitch with a HUGE photo of a naked man on it. No, his genitals weren't showing, but his breasts were. Gross. I am a married woman. I have no interest in seeing the boobies of any man other than my husband. I thought we were supposed to be modest in public. Should I have said something? I actually had to use my neck muscles and turn my head. You know, mind my own business. I suppose I could have caused a scene, asked the woman carrying the bag to turn it around, or put a blanket over it, etc., because it repulsed me. It's unlikely that would have accomplished anything, though, since I, as a woman, do not have equal protection under the law of the supposed "right" not to be grossed out by nudity in public. Now, if that shopping bag had had a photo of a breastfeeding baby, I might have had a case.

So, I turned my head and walked away. I went to Starbucks, got a coffee, sat down to read my book. A woman sat at the table next to me with her young baby. She took him out of his stroller, and the next thing you know, eeehhhhhh, gross! She's got a nasal syringe and is suctioning mucous out of his nose -- at the table in a restaurant. I thought this was supposed to be a polite society. Didn't that woman have an obligation not to repulse me? Nasal hygiene in the middle of a restaurant? I had to keep my mouth shut. You know why? Because she wasn't actually causing me any physical harm. So, I looked away. Next, she took out a bottle of infant junk food -- you know the stuff, powdered cow's milk with synthetic vitamins. What a shame, if only she had tried to breastfeed the baby, I could have asked the restaurant employees to have her move to the bathroom. Oh, well, I did have my book to distract me.

This is a free country.

Haven't you heard that refrain at least once a week since you were in kindergarten? Have you ever really considered what that means?

A few quotes to consider:
"Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

"No man can put a chain about the ankle of his fellow man without at last finding the other end fastened about his own neck."
Frederick Douglas

"Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn't pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same."
Ronald Reagan

"First they came for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me."
Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

I put to you, my fellow citizens, that rights you would deny others are rights you yourself will lose. And when you stand idly by while others are abused, you are helping to dig the pit into which you yourself may someday be tossed.